How to heal from emotional abuse and bullying

Spending everyday being subject to passive aggressive comments, dirty looks and snide remarks is likely putting you in a state of hypervigilance.

The stress you are feeling is likely putting your body in a defensive mode like fight or flight.

This will likely mean you’re holding a lot of tension in your body, and that the trauma is being stored there too. It makes it difficult for you to focus and feel relaxed.

These situations can be traumatising and have negative impacts on your mental health.

How you may be feeling

Regular nightmares, flashbacks, or obsessive rumination
Trouble sleeping
Sudden emotional distress from reminders of past events
Decreased confidence and doubting your perception of reality
Panic attacks or intense waves of anxiety
Hypervigilance — feeling constantly on edge, especially in class or before exams
Being startled more easily
Increased tendency to socially isolate yourself
Intrusive negative thoughts
Hopelessness about the future or even just getting through the day

You don’t have to deal with this on your own or continue suffering. Sometimes the best course of action can be for an adult to confront the individuals if their behaviour is increasingly serious and moving into harrassment.

Talking to your GP and asking to be referred to counselling or professional therapy is a great step to take to protect your mental-health

While you wait for professional help

Validate your pain

Read the information on this website to realise that you are not alone in feeling like this. Understanding the signs of abuse that goes under the surface can help in showing you the extent of what you've been through

Physical Healing

Deep Breathing Exercises , these are to not stop you from feeling, but rather giving your body the space to actually fully feel the emotions and pain you have and let it out.

Somatic Yoga This is a mindfulness practice that involves slow yoga poses that invite you to increase you awareness of your bodily sensations and release tension stored in the body. It’s a lot gentler than ordinary yoga (which is still also a helpful tool).

Exercise Will increase the blood flow to your brain and therefore improve your mood, sleep and cognitive function. Exercising regularly , perhaps even trying out a new sport, will give you sustained benefits.

Vagus Nerve Exercises The vagus nerve is the longest nerve in the body and has impact on a lot of different things. When you are constantly under stress, the vagus nerve can be overstimulated, making you feel less relaxed. There are simple, safe exercises you can do to bring your body out of this state and into a calmer one.

Check out this video from a certified psycologist and EMDR therapist to follow along to and learn more about this.

Activities for the mind

Journalling This is a great tool for self reflection and building a more positive relationship with yourself. Try out the activities around the website but also the journalling prompts sheet in the resources section. You can also write positive affirmations about yourself to build a habit of valid ating yourself and being the friend to yourself that you deserve.

Nature Walks Research from the University of Exeter has shown that exposure and walks in nature improves your brain activity, mental health and can lift your mood.

Music Whether this be your favourite artist or some calming jazz, music will certainly elevate your mood and remind you of the more positive parts of your life.

Meditation his can be particularly useful when you’re in the midst of these negative situations. Bringing yourself back to the present moment can help you to ground yourself and remind yourself that these people don’t have real power to control you.

Observing the memories that could come to the surface when you do meditate can help you to understand what is affecting you most as well. It is also a sign that your body and mind are trying to heal which is always good but can be difficult.

You could start with the mindly 5 minute meditations. These are short and simple to follow along to but will still be beneficial. Following on from that you could try out apps like Headspace and Calm or the BBC Music and Meditation Podcast

Build your confidence by learning new skills. these not only serve as a good distraction, but make you more intelligent and improve your self-esteem. Knitting, embroidery, guitar, piano, drawing, pinterest board making ( I argue this could be a skill of its own) are just some ideas of things you could start doing.

Take advantage of different opportunities to deepen your talents or meet new people

People to Speak to

ChildLine 0800 1111 .Open 24 hours a day and 7 days a week

Kooth : You can text-chat with a mental health practitioner about whatever you’re feeling.

Mind: 0300 102 1234. For mental health struggles the support line is open 9am to 6pm

Through building your own confidence, you are also building an energetic boundary that makes it less likely for people to hurt you.